The Key to Being an Ally
Throughout my life and career I have had the benefit of seeing ALL kinds of examples of what it means to be an ally. Lately... we hear it a lot in Corporate America around diversity and inclusion initiatives. Fundamentally... I believe it is about how we advocate, support and stand with others... especially in moments where under represented populations are potentially being mistreated or being minimalized.
A Story...
One of my first career summer internships in university was after my first semester of Industrial Engineering. I don't remember at this point how I was able to land the job at the local Volvo Assembly Plant... but I was SO excited and delighted that I did. One of the things that I do recall... is while I was interviewing they mentioned that I was going to be the only woman working on the plant floor and would I be ok with that? That actually made me proud to be a "trail blazer" ! I also was one of a handful of females in my class so being the only woman in a room wasn't new to me.
It was a fantastic summer all around. I got to do some meaningful projects including an assembly line efficiency study which resulted in a redesign of the car bumper assembly process which saved time, money and was more ergonomically correct. Everyone from management to all the guys on the plant floor could not have been nicer to me. As I left the job and headed back to university I pre-closed that I would be back again next summer!
The Twist
Fast forward a year and I am back in the Volvo offices and meeting with my manager to get the ball rolling for another great summer. Since it was more of a conversation than an interview this time around he openly shared the "back story" of my original hiring. Apparently Volvo had been in dispute with the Union over allowing woman to work on the plant floor. Management was unwilling to allow it saying it was too dangerous for women and the Union was pushing for equal opportunity. I was the compromise. They wanted me back for another summer since they "got away with it" last time.
This was a real gut punch to me because the story turned from being an empowered trailblazer to a pawn in a Union dispute. They didn't want me back because I had done such a great job...they wanted me back to make their Union dispute go away. I was a bit embarrassed too because everyone else seemed to be in on "the joke" except me.
From Bad to Worse
As a professed over thinker...I walked away from the discussion upset and conflicted. I was angry that I was being used as a pawn and that by taking the job I was hampering the effort for more woman to be hired for a good paying job that they were more than qualified to do.
I got home to my empty apartment and decided I needed to "talk it out" so I called my Dad to tell the story and get some advice. I relayed what happened with all the emotion and anger that I was feeling and it helped to "get it out". He fed off my feelings and responded in kind with distain and insult for the situation. When I got off the phone I was thinking more clearly and was laying out the pros and cons of taking the job (which was mine unless I turned it down).
As I was processing the day and trying to work out my next steps...my phone rang and it was my manager from Volvo. In a frantic tone the conversation went like this...
Manager: Someone just called the head of the plant and angrily chewed him out about the company's inappropriate treatment of woman. Specifically related to YOU. Do you know anything about this?
Me (Instantly shocked and stomach dropping): No...I don't...I didn't ask anyone to call...I don't know what this is all about.
Manager: Do you have a father?
Me: Ugh....yes I do. I didn't put him up to it I swear. He did it on his own. I just got off the phone with him and I guess he felt he needed to say something.
Manager: Ok - this is now a big deal and I am in a lot of trouble. Not sure how this plays out or if I am able to hire you back. We will stay in touch.
How it Played Out
Needless to say...I called my Dad back and I was furious. Furious that he had taken action without checking with me first...furious that MY choice on how to handle the situation had been taken away from me....furious that this would damage my career and ability to use Volvo as a reference at such a critical point in my journey.
In hindsight and in fairness to my Dad...he really thought he was defending me and sticking up for me. He wanted to be a fierce ally for me. He had also been off work with back issues and was in a lot of pain which didn't help matters at all. As the saying goes..."idle hands are the devils tools".
So...after some thought...I did what was best for ME at the time... and I called the manager and let him know how much I appreciated the offer and that I was turning down the job. He accepted my decision with a sigh of relief and we all moved on.
In Closing...
To this day I don't know if the Union was able to persevere and have woman hired to work on the assembly line. I tried to do some on-line research and nothing came up... only that the plant closed in 1998...not that long after my time there.
Memory is also a funny thing...I don't know exactly what I did that summer but I think I went went back to Newfoundland to lick my wounds and did some "fluff" job to fill the space and earn some money.
I learned a lot from the experience including how to better support my daughters by not assuming they wanted me to fight their battles for them but rather to fight WITH them when they permitted it. Those moments where we stood together became teachable moments where they learned how to stand up for themselves with me leading the conversation or standing with them as they did it themselves.
Last but not least...which is why YOU clicked on this post...what is the key to being an ally?
Stand with and support others as advocates... being mindful and respectful of their needs and what the moment truly commands not based on raw emotion or pain
Leadership Questions of the Week for YOU:
What is YOUR ally story that we can all learn from?
When YOU see ally ship in action or have experienced it...what are the things that make it an empowering moment or what things can turn it into a deflating moment?
In hindsight...do YOU think I should have gotten myself together and gone back in to "fight" on the side of the Union knowing that there was no management support? Or given that I was just an intern looking for some career experience that walking away was better because no matter what it was not going to work out for me there?
What do YOU think of my "Key to Being an Ally"? I really did struggle in the chair to find the right words and not sure I nailed it. How would YOU rephrase it...build on it...or say something completely different?
Thanks for reading….and remember…YOU make a difference!
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