How to Have Meaningful Conversations
Even though we are all working remotely these days, it is more important than ever to connect with others....check in...and yes...even have meaningful conversations. Let's be honest, it's tougher to navigate in these times than we realize when certain topics can be very polarizing.
Being a Canadian living in the United Sates, and in particular Arizona, over the last 15 years my rule of thumb has been,
To Stay Away from Conversations Involving Three Things...
Politics
Guns
Religion
It's not that I don't have an opinion or welcome the opportunity for intellectual debate...it's just that depending on the situation and person it can spiral out of control quickly and have unintended consequences.
All that said, when the Thrive Global prompt came over this week I was delighted to see it and eager to respond.
What’s your favorite conversation starter that doesn’t involve politics?
As Marina Khidekel went on to ask the Thrive Global Community...
Talking about politics with friends and colleagues can get heated and stressful. And while it’s vital to stay engaged in current events and our communities, sometimes it’s a welcome respite to have conversations that have nothing to do with politics or world events. Thoughtful, unexpected conversation starters can help deepen your connections, redirect the conversation when needed, and help you minimize awkwardness. And it helps if you plan ahead.
Today, I’d love for you to share one meaningful conversation starter that doesn’t involve politics, and how it has been helping you spark meaningful discussions and deepen connections.
Do you have a go-to question that always prompts an interesting, fun discussion? Have you been asking others about hobbies they’re passionate about right now, or projects they’re working on, or tips that are helping them stay focused and motivated? Do you turn to nostalgia and happy memories when you want to keep the conversation light with a friend or family member you’ve known for a long time? Tell us about a creative conversation starter that you’ve been finding meaningful recently.
Here was My Response
Early on in my career I feel I was always focused on proving myself, telling my story or eager to share my elevator pitch. What I came to realize as the years went by is that building relationships isn’t about trying too hard to impress someone else or convince them with YOUR words how great you are, but rather finding a connection with genuine curiosity in getting to know the other person.
One of my earliest reminders of that was when I read the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey and his habit to “Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood”.
So my first step on this journey was to have a physical reminder to stop myself mid-monologue and ask more questions which came in the form of a thumb ring. As I twist it or look at it, it gives me the signal to slow down….pause…take a breath…ask a question.
I then have two go to questions or ice-breakers that have never disappointed me; 1) What’s YOUR claim to fame? 2) How did you meet your spouse or partner or significant other? Both questions give a lot of insight into the other person and bring a smile to their face as they tell their stories. It also prompts more great questions and sharing as people build on the conversation.
Check out my post here on Thrive Global to read more. I’d love to hear YOUR story too!
In Closing...
Between the constant barrage of messaging on social media, the news and the isolation of the pandemic, I think we are all exhausted. We are spending more time in our own heads focusing on, thinking about and talking about difficult topics. While I think we have ignored a lot tough discussions for far too long and as JFK said...“If not us, who? If not now, when?” it doesn't mean we can't take a break every now and then to renew our spirit and faith in humanity. Having a few go to conversation starters and being that "light in the darkness" is something we could all use more of....especially as we move beyond what ever happens in the next few weeks. It's less about us...it's more about others...and finding a way to ask more meaningful questions so we can connect and heal.
Leadership Questions of the Week for YOU:
What are YOUR favorite meaningful conversation starters?
Do YOU agree that we need a break from the barrage of difficult conversations or is it "tone deaf" or inappropriate during the time we are in to NOT lean in?
What has been YOUR experience lately balancing current event conversations versus other topics? Are you finding you are getting more comfortable being uncomfortable?
If YOU do find yourself in a current event conversation around politics that is turning angry, frustrating or out of control what has been your "go-to" way to change the subject or exit the conversation?
Thanks for reading….and remember…YOU make a difference!
Please continue the conversation by liking…commenting or sharing this article. You can also follow me on twitter @marciedwhite.
