It's NOT that I Need to WIN It's That I HATE To LOSE!
It's that time of year when I have been ALL consumed with every little thing that is happening and continually refreshing web pages to get updates. The highs are high and the lows are low. Just when it seemed like I was winning... and things were going my way... I lost.
Do YOU know what I am talking about? Anyone else?
It's Fantasy Football (FF) Season!
It's been a few years since I have been in a FF league and I was honored... humbled and grateful to be invited into an Ex-Insight Executive league.... lovingly named "The Reunion" (Thanks David Cristal ). I had forgotten how much fun it was... and how stressful it is. To invest in something so passionately that you really have no control over. YOU think YOU do...but YOU really don't.
There are a lot of things that you try and anticipate and plan for...hope for... and some week's it works out and other weeks it just doesn't. Some Tuesday morning's....when I get the weekly recap from Yahoo Sports saying I got a C for the week and my opponent got an A really stings. So I give myself a day to wallow in the loss...then get back at it on Thursday morning to assess the matchups for the upcoming week.
Rooting for Someone Else to Fail so YOU Don't Lose
My family laughs at me as I watch the games... I am not even rooting for a team... I am rooting for players. Some to win and some to lose. It gets really bad when the messages are conflicting... like last week... the person I was playing against had Patrick Mahomes from the Kanas City Chiefs as his Quarterback. We normally root for the Chiefs but I found myself thinking I could win when he turned his ankle in the 3rd Quarter and if he went out of the game I would have won my match up for the week.
On the other hand... I found myself in this position because one of my players...J'Marr Chase... had done NOTHING and I was annoyed that he "didn't show up". So I was in the unenviable spot of needing someone else to fail so I wouldn't lose.
You'll be shocked to know I lost! Congrats Greg Arthur.
My annoyance caused me to momentarily rethink my lineup for the week. I was contemplating benching J'Marr Chase out of spite... a petty and ridiculous thought. I put on my "big girl pants"... realized it was just a one week setback... and I left him in for the week 10 matchups. He played Thursday night and had the game of his life. For the ZERO he was last week... he was a HERO this week.
It's ONLY one data point... but I am projected to win this week based on his career high performance... think positive thoughts for my victory this week. Apologies in advance Brian Hicks.... it's not personal!
Lessons Learned On OUR Leadership Journey
As I overthink this analogy... I will admit I am finding it tough to narrow down the lessons learned to a few succinct thoughts. So I will do my best with the few below...
Run YOUR Own Race: Make the best decisions you can with the information and people you have around YOU. Some times this will be enough and other times the odds and conditions will be against YOU. Don't be all consumed how others are playing the game... play the game YOUR way and know that if it's not YOUR turn... it may be next season.
It's a LONG Season/Career: I have hated to lose every time I did... but sometimes despite all the best planning and resourcing... things don't go YOUR way. I have to continually remind myself there are lots of "games" ahead and I am only a few away from winning it all and a few challenges away from finding myself at the "bottom of the league". As Ted Lasso says "Be a Goldfish" and turn the page for the next moment... the next opportunity. These situations do not define your whole career.... they are all bumps along the road.
It's a Head to Head Format: I have been fascinated as I look across my FF league that there are weeks that I lost.... that if I had played ANYONE else other than that match up I would have won. It is the same in our leadership journey... YOU maybe didn't get the promotion based on who else was vying for it... it just wasn't YOUR time. Or who the leader is and they keep their friends close so you scratch your head as to why they are "winning" when there are better players available. YOU have to understand the format... the rules of the game and either accept it or find another "league" to play in.
Sometimes the Numbers Deceive YOU: Each week... there is a projected number of points each player will get and you start off each head to head match as the projected winner or loser. I have learned to not pay much attention to that and to combine it with... who they are playing... the conditions (inside stadium or outside)... whether they are playing at HOME or AWAY.... or if they have any injuries. Even with all this information... you can be deceived into thinking you may win or lose especially as the numbers change as the games play out. YOU can only make YOUR best decision to live and learn for next time...ultimately you have to accept the results and move forward.
Zoom In and Zoom Out: From all that I have said.... you might think that I am not doing that well. If I zoom in and focus on all that I have lost or not done well... it is sometimes hard to find where things are going well. Now zooming out.... I am in 3rd place in the league. I have a 5-4 record. I am projected to win this week and I have the most points "for" in the league which means if someone else has the same record as me I have a higher rank because my team has the most winning points of any other team. I "only" need to be in the top 4 to make the playoffs... which is what I did last time when I won the league. In our leadership journey... zooming in and out to find areas of improvement or understanding as well as zooming out on all that is going well or adjustments that need to be made is key.
In Closing...
I am a fan of the "game". My daughter has recently reminded me that being a fan... a fan of something... is an amazing gift. She is sharing in my fantasy football season... acting as a sounding board for my choices as well as joining my husband and I at a local bar on Sunday mornings to watch the games.
You see...my Quarterback for FF is Josh Allen on the Buffalo Bills and we have been swept up in the "Bills Backers East Valley" group who all gather to watch the game together. The atmosphere is electric and it is a ton of fun to share the ups and downs of the games...of the season... as we all hope for... wish for...cheer for... our team to win (or in my case... my player to win).... even though it is out of our control. We show up again each week...no matter how last week went.
The same goes for our leadership journey. I am a "fan" of leadership... and that electric feeling of bringing people together...to cheer for our success... and to console each other when we lose. I hate to lose but it is inevitable some days. We go back in... relook at the strategy... plan around the conditions.. and run our own race. We zoom in and zoom out so we are not wallowing in the minutia and looking at the bigger picture. It's a long career and there is a lot to be grateful for... and cheer for... it's who is with you on the journey... creating a community of support... and relishing in what a gift it is to be a "fan".
I stand behind my feeling of hating to lose...because it keeps me hungry to win... and humble in those special moments when things go my way.
How about YOU?
Leadership Questions of the Week for YOU:
1. How do you balance the emotional highs and lows of leadership to maintain consistency and resilience, similar to navigating a challenging fantasy football season?
2. What strategies do you use to 'run your own race' and stay focused on your goals, even when faced with competitive pressure or setbacks?
3. How do you maintain perspective by ‘zooming in’ on immediate challenges and ‘zooming out’ to recognize larger successes and progress in your leadership journey?
4. What methods do you use to stay motivated and ‘hungry’ for success without letting the fear of failure overshadow your leadership journey?
5. How do you incorporate flexibility in your strategy to adapt to unexpected changes, similar to adjusting lineups in a fantasy football league?
