To Connect, or Not to Connect
How do you feel when the red notifications show up over the "My Network" icon? Are you excited to see if someone influential accepted your request or better yet reached out to connect unexpectedly? Or...are you rolling your eyes and dreading another unwanted hard sell or a random person trying to connect and you have no idea why?
As your network grows and you become more engaged with social selling the dilemma of "Accepting or Ignoring" connection requests are like navigating a maze. You don't know if accepting the request opens a door for you that helps you fast track through your social selling motions or if it is a dead end that distracts you or doesn't further your cause.
Over the years, I have come up with my own guidelines or operating principles on whether or not I accept a connection request on LinkedIn. I have to admit...that even with these unwritten rules in place...it is more of an art than a science. It's a "game time" decision with each one, but with some guidelines in place and the knowledge that I can always "remove connection" on a moment's notice, it's a pretty low risk venture so I try to not over think it!
So let's dive in and start the conversation!
My Top 5 Connection Guiding Principles
ONE:
Anyone I have met or know personally (even if it was brief) - no brainer - accept
TWO:
A warm introduction from someone I know - no brainer - accept
THREE:
If I don't know the person and I get a note on the invite, putting the request into context, I usually accept.
Considerations to the rule
If the person says in the note something like "I am a sales person for ABC Company and I want to sell you my service" I usually ignore the connection unless it is something that I am genuinely interested in hearing more about. They aren't interested in building their network authentically - they are just being randomly opportunistic
I look at who we have in common or if they work in a company that I have worked at in the past. If our common connections are people I DO know pretty well or if they work for a company that I have worked with then I usually accept
I pause and ask myself, "once I accept the connection, am I ok showing up as a 1st Connection that will add credibility to this person's request to others in my network?" If the answer is NO I ignore the request
After I accept the connection, if this person immediately needs something from me that I am uncomfortable helping them with I send them a polite note and I "remove connection". I gave them a shot and it turns out they were not in for the networking piece
FOUR:
If someone completely out of the blue sends me a request, with no note, I look at their profile before making a decision.
Things to look for:
How many connections they have (not just a couple) - less than 100 they are probably a bot
Do we have any connections in common already and depending on how well I know the other people they are connected to I accept. If the connections are people I am less familiar with I usually don't accept
Do they have a profile picture? No picture makes it less likely I will accept
Scan their work history and see if they have worked for companies I am familiar with. Maybe we worked for the same company. Sometimes the companies are suspect (no website). If the work history looks uncertain - I don't accept
If they are outside the US or Canada (where I have worked) - I decide based on current company, role and connections (i.e a current HPE or HP Inc. employee would get an accept no matter where they are located)
FIVE:
If I DO "Accept" I follow up with a quick note in messenger.
This helps to understand the request better and establish an immediate tone and rapport with your new contact
It also gives you a chance to understand their intentions and if you are able to help them or if they can help you
It can give you a quick answer to why they reached out and gives you a chance to "remove connection" before too much time goes by
In Closing...
I guess the bottom line is to figure out YOUR guiding principles and see how it goes. It's about pausing, understanding a bit about the person who has reached out and trusting your instincts. Some of the most valuable, fulfilling and helpful connections I have made were with people I hadn't met before or didn't know very well. I took a chance and my network and professional career is all the richer for it.
Keep in mind...the reverse is also true in this scenario. When YOU are sending connection requests or building YOUR network ask yourself...
"If someone were to reach out to me... like I just did to them....would I accept that request?
If the answer is NO...or questionable...take steps to adjust your approach so it is a "no brainer" for those you want to connect with to accept your invitation. After all, it is easier for them to ignore your request than to work hard to figure out who you are or if YOU are worth their time. Don't make YOUR network work harder than they need to to welcome you into the fold - not everyone will take the time!
Leadership Questions of the Week for YOU:
Do YOU manage YOUR connection requests as they come in or do YOU just let them pile up and try and forget that they are there?
What is the count on your "My Network" notifications? Is it "clean" or do you have a bunch that you just don't want to face or do you "batch them" once a week or month or so?
Do YOU have guiding principals to accept or ignore connection requests or do you accept them all?
What did you think of the 5 above? Do you have a favorite that YOU also use?
What are YOUR top 5 suggestions to others for accepting, ignoring or growing their network?
Now that we have talked about OUR rules to accept or ignore requests...does this give you ideas or ways to adjust how YOU approach others? Are YOU the person someone would want to connect with?
Thanks for reading and remember…YOU make a difference!
Please continue the conversation by liking…commenting or sharing this article. You can also follow me on twitter @marciedwhite
