The Importance of Traditions
I have several memories of holiday traditions growing up in Canada and as the years go by I find it interesting what I have chosen to remember versus what I discarded. I put memories into 3 buckets:
A point in time that just made an impact and for an unexplained reason stuck with me
Traditions that our family did year after year so it became part of the fabric of the holiday
Stories that my family retold of our holidays so regardless of if I remember them myself, I remember them as the story was told to me
For example, a holiday point in time that has stuck with me is a Christmas gift I remember asking for (and receiving) as a child. I had been watching the Saturday morning cartoon TV ads (anyone else remember those?) and I really wanted the electronic wonder of a toy called “Merlin”. I can clearly remember the joy and elation of receiving it and playing with it for hours on end. I don’t know if it was my best Christmas ever, but I clearly remember it and how special it was. My parents always did a good job providing for us, but with most things being scarce to purchase in Newfoundland and us not being rich in resources it was a special occasion when all the moons aligned. Over the years of all the things I received as a kid – that is the only one that stuck with me. I am not sure if I asked my parents today if they would even remember that Christmas or getting that gift. It is my memory alone and the way I remember it may not resemble what others remembered about that Christmas.
Now…traditions, in my opinion, are what make a holiday special..not point in time moments or gifts. Without those quirky family activities that are ritually performed each Easter, Thanksgiving or Christmas it would just be another day and would not feel as special. In our family we have a few traditions that we have carried over from previous generations and some we have created on our own. What is interesting and humbling for me is that traditions have nothing to do with expensive gifts or fancy efforts – they have to do with something that is a shared memory for us as a family and is something we all do together….every year. It is that consistency…participation…and anticipation that creates shared memories.
For many…this Easter weekend will be an adjustment. You may have family traditions that you won’t be able to do like going to Church on Easter Morning…getting the family together for an Easter Egg Hunt…sharing a meal with family and friends with dishes that you only make once a year (i.e hot cross buns). It is times like these where we have to focus on what we CAN do…rather than what we CAN’T do. It is an opportunity to create a new tradition or modify one so we can keep spirits high and continue to create memories.
In our household, my oldest daughter gets full credit for finding a way to modify a tradition and create new memories this year. Usually at Easter we have friends over who have small children. We hide Easter Eggs, create Easter Baskets and decorate cookies. Since none of us can gather this year…she reached out to a friend who sells baked goods at local markets and discovered she had “Easter Cookie Kits". The idea now is to drop off the cookie kits at our friend’s doorsteps and we can all facetime together on Sunday afternoon in a virtual cookie decorating party. A new Easter Tradition? Who knows?!
How is all of this important in our leadership journey? I believe that our organizations are a collection of memories and traditions which form a culture. As leaders, we have point in time events that have impacted us (for whatever reason), we have traditions or practices that we have used over the years with previous teams that we incorporate into our new teams and lastly there are stories that our mentors or that the people that came before us have told us about how to impact a culture. All of these things come together to form what our teams see, experience and believe about the organization and about the leader. In this moment we are creating NEW traditions, events and stories that will define how we interact with our teams and will shape their overall experience.
Carrying on the traditions and creating the shared memories with our teams takes the same effort to carry on and articulate as they do with our families. It may not seem at first as if people see the logic in the traditions, the importance of them or what they will carry with them (in the same ways our kids don’t growing up) but eventually they will carry them with them as they grow in their careers (Anyone who has worked with me remember the FISH video?). They will in some cases combine them with other traditions as they move to other companies…other leaders…and in some cases it will spur them on to create their own or new ones. In the end, as leaders (just like parents), it is our responsibility to carry on the traditions that make the experience special, unique and leave a lasting impact. We have to continuously retell the stories and understand what is sticking with our teammates as opposed to what we think is sticking with them.
Lastly, a while ago I saw a ted talk by Steven Addis titled “A father daughter bond, one photo at a time” . It reinforced for me that sometimes as parents (or leaders), we need to create opportunities for memories and this will open up other wonderful, unexpected benefits that we could not have imagined when we first created it. My best correlation to that is the Christmas ornament I buy for Jon, Katie and Emily each year. At first it was just something cheap and fun that I thought I would try. Now we have each box labeled with the year and their name. As we take them out of the box each Christmas to decorate the tree – there is a story…a memory that goes with why that ornament was chosen that year. It forms a part of our family history and now my girls (who are now in their 20s) will have treasures…memories…that they can take with them when they start their families and have trees of their own…one ornament…one year at a time….
Leadership questions of the week for YOU:
What are your family traditions that form the shared memory of your family?
What do you think your kids will carry forward in their lives as they form families of their own?
What traditions do you have with your teams that you have taken with you from previous positions, from stories that were told to you, or from point in time events that impacted your leadership journey?
How important is it that as leaders we carry on the traditions and purposefully create the memories for our teams?
How important is it for our own development to understand what memories or traditions are leaving a lasting impact or have stuck with our teams that they will take with them?
Thanks for reading and remember...YOU make a difference!
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